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Dear
Annette,
I got into a
predicament at lunch today with a female companion: each of us holding opposite
sides of a double door, each waiting for the other to enter first. It felt like
an episode of those singing chipmunks crooning, "After you!" "No, after you!"
And to top it off, three or four parties scrambled in ahead of us while we had
it out. Annette, please spare me future embarrassment by spelling out the rules
of the doors.
Chip
Dear
Chip,
I can't remember
the last time I opened a door for myself - I have People to do that for me. But
I can certainly recall the pleasure I felt the last time I opened the door for
someone else.
Just last evening on the way out of a
three-star restaurant in Santa Monica, I encountered a man who looked
despondent, as though he had just proposed marriage and been rejected. It was
all he could do to put one foot in front of the other. When I held the door for
him, he seemed to perk up and continue on his way. Later, when he's feeling like
himself again, no doubt he'll discover the calling card I slipped into his coat
pocket and hand-deliver a warm thank-you note.
Help someone through a conventional door
by opening it and allowing the other person to walk through first. Help someone
through a revolving door by going through first so that it is easier for the
other person to push.
In an elevator, the person who gets on
last gets off first. Otherwise you have a Marx Brothers movie.
Once your party is through the door, move
a few steps further, away from the flow of traffic.
Offering assistance to a stranger can
establish a human bond. Offering assistance to a friend or colleague establishes
the contours of the group culture. The gracious person accepts the courtesy and
repays it with more courtesy. Gentlemen should not reject a lady’s offer to hold
a door; she is extending kindness according to the golden rule. Let her be kind
as you would be kind.
Stay
fabulous,
Annette
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